Choices

For school next semester I need to choose between two classes. I had already decided to take one over the other. That was before I accepted how much I loved the other class. It is so much fun and I enjoy the stuff we do. However, the other class fits in my schedule better and I feel like taking this class will mess everything up. Especially what I am doing at the end of the semester. I don't want to miss classes. I decided on a schedule and worked it out so it was what I thought I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. I'm really going to miss the other class and I don't think I need the class I was going to take. It is a hard decision because one is for college credit and the other one isn't. People keep telling me to take the college class, but I love the other one. Maybe I should change my approach to the situation. I know the one I love will make me happier in the short term, but I don't know about the other one. I don't know what impact this will have on my life. Maybe I have just been heading down the wrong path, the one I thought I wanted, but now I think it's wrong. I think I need to follow my gut and not grow up too fast. Writing this article has really helped me work it out. I need to listen to my soul and not the social norm that is what I think I want. Wow. I think this is going to change my life.

Falling Apart

I'm so frustrated. All of the people in my life are being jerks to each other and making life suck. My mother and her husband are fighting, which means that they don't really talk and he sulks and runs away like a little child. My friends are fighting. They have been drifting away, which was sad, but not that bad. Now they are practically fighting. One group has been mean, but I didn't realize that the other group(the one I chose) might not have been complete angels either. One of my friends got so mad she yelled at the others, and I felt terrible. She blamed them for everything, and it wasn't their fault. I can feel her pain though. I am so sick of it. Everyone is falling away and getting mad at each other, and I feel like there is no one I can tell. That is why you get to hear it. Everyone is being a jerk, and feeling offended when the other people are jerks too. Some people don't realize that they are adults and should stop acting like little kids when they don't get what they want or get offended. Grow up. Just grow up. Not everyone is going to fit your vision of what they should be and say and do, in fact, almost no one does. Accept people for who they  are and stop being jerks. You don't have to hate people because you had different expectations. Stop making the world such a frustrating place.

Rewards

Today I thanked the person who made it possible to fully understand my nasty little voice. Because of that, she told me about a wonderful opportunity. It will let me participate in one of my passions, something I utterly love. I walked home today on a cloud. The little things just didn't matter. I was probably a little uncomfortable on my way home, but I was in the clouds and I just didn't notice. It felt so great. I'm sick of focusing on negative things. I felt like things were going to change, and they really need to. I needed something to make me remember who I am. I've been doing better seeing myself as the beautiful young lady I am, and this has only helped. Find the people you love being around. Find the people who will support you in your  journey to a happy, fulfilling, passion-filled life. There are people out there who can help you make your life so much better. Go and find them! Don't forget that you are beautiful. Find the people who see that beauty and will help pull it out. Beat down the monster that tells you that you aren't good enough. Find your passions! Find the people that make you the person you want to be.

My Insecurities

There is this nasty little voice inside my head that makes me miserable. As crazy as it seems, I've only just realized just how bad it makes me feel. Today I shut it off. Just for a few hours, an amazing few hours. As I came home, I realized what this little voice is making me feel and how it is affecting me. I am a beautiful, talented young lady, but this voice makes me feel so inadequate. I question everything. I question people's motives, and think the worst. I make myself feel like they don't like me, and they don't think about me, or I don't matter to them. It's a lie! People do care, and even if they don't, I love myself. I am beautiful just the way I am, and if people don't see it, it's their loss. So even though I've seen this nasty little voice in my head for what it is, I'm still going to have to fight to keep it from gaining control. I am determined to win. My nasty little voice will wither and die. I will see myself for who I am. You can too. Go out and beat your nasty little voice to a pulp. Do it for yourself, your gorgeous self.